It was a cold windy evening in November and we all were eagerly waiting for the good news. My Mom went into labor and I a second grader that time, was curious to see my younger sibling coming into this world. I was bombarded with questions by my relatives as to “whether I wanted a brother or a sister?”. My answer always used to be “Sister” and that
would drive them all crazy. My grandma would say “Darling, it’s nice to have brothers. say that, you want one!. But I was a hard nut to crack and I always opted for a baby sister. As destined, a tiny angel
came to our lives and I was super happy. Apart from me there were two other people who were equally thrilled, my Dad and my Mom. But all other near and dear ones had sort of mixed feelings. My granny who is no more was like, “Hmmm……………..Two daughters”.
Though she loved me and my sister dearly, she was kind of sad with the news. More than family it was neighbors and friends who all of a sudden sounded very concerned, “No worries, take one more chance………….”, “Two girls! It’s not the end of the road, should try once more” these statements would bug my ear to the core. I would wonder “when we family of four are happy, why people are so worried? Is it the way world cares……………….?”
My parents were kind of deaf ear to these false and negative concerns. They were happy that they were parents to two beautiful kids rather than two daughters. They told us to aim high and chase our dreams. I remember my Dad saying “Never think that you are a girl, you are no less than a boy”. His words echo in my years till date. We were given the liberty to try everything under the sun. I remember my parents taking me to every other competition in and around Bhubaneswar, so that I would participate and give my best shot.
When I was in eighth grade, my Dad told me to give bicycle a try. I was afraid but he had full confidence in me that I would be able to do it. Cycle gradually gave away to scooter and finally to four-wheeler. Though he himself didn’t drive one owing to his own reasons for the same, he never dissuaded us from doing so. When I was doing my MBA , relatives would come and talk to my parents about my marriage in a hush hush tone. My Dad would crack a joke and say,
“Crazy people, my daughter will marry a job first and then marry a man” That was something which me and my sister stuck to. Even during my marriage, when I was bidding bye to my Dad, he whispered in my ears, “Don’t take any nonsense from anyone. If you ever feel sad or unhappy, just remember your parents are around” I just hugged him and cried my heart out. November, 2013
It was the worst phase of my life. My Dad was hospitalized after a brief illness and was not doing good. I had been there in October with my husband and kids, I never expected such a devastating news was on its way. It was seventh morning and I was informed about my Dad’s demise. I was shocked and shattered to the core. My heart was not allowing me to believe on this news. It was a terrible feeling from within which can’t be put down in words.
As they say “Happiest are the ones who have both their parents”. I was broken and unable to cope up with the loss. I realized; I had a six-month-old who is only surviving on my breast milk. My mind alerted me to be calm, though heart kept on wailing every second. We took the next available flight to Bhubaneswar.
All through, I kept on wondering “How am I going to face the duo for whom the world has come to a standstill, Yes! My Mom and my sister”. Hardly I knew that there will be a different battle to fight…………………. “What………………………………..How is this possible” the priest was furious the moment he
heard it.
My sister wanted to lit my Dad’s pyre and it didn’t go down well with the elderly priest. The question which I had been fighting since I was seven again resurfaced in its full form. “Two girls, they don’t have boys…………………it’s fine. Mr. Mohanty must be having nephews; they have the full right to do the rituals. Why will girls do?” The statement fumed my anger. I couldn’t take it at any cost. Teary eyed I looked at my mom, who was inconsolable and was not in a state to decide.
Both me and my sister were flanked by our relatives who were suggesting some option or other. Even one suggested, my husband should do the rituals being my Dad’s son-in-law. I couldn’t tolerate any more, my patience went for a toss and I was ready to face the challenges. “It’s either my sister or me who is going to do this” if someone else does, my Dad can hardly rest in peace” I looked at the Pandit with fierce eyes. The Pandit too didn’t want to be at the receiving end and shouted back “Yeh, aaj kal ki yuwa pidhi……………………. They want to change rules. How can a girl do something which boys are supposed to do?”
My sister roared from behind “How dare you Pandit Ji, Our Dad never thought of us as girls.
He loved us as his kids, irrespective of our gender. When he never set rules for us, who are
you to set rules for him? If you don’t want to do, it’s fine. We can look for alternatives………………………………..”
Pandit Ji’s agony was visible, but he didn’t have the courage to speak In-front of two roaring lionesses. He allowed us to do as we pleased and my sister lit my Dad’s pyre.
